If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
