her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
