She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize