and you said cock pushups were impossible
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
