Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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