You smell like stripper and shame
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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