i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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