As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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