so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
