We're like a lot better than the average bears
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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