Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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