I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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