i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
