We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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