Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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