We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
