I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
