Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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