I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
