I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish I only lived at night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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