All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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