i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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