He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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