It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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