Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize