Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
