Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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