Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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