were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
