I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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