naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So much rum. So many feels.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
