well I can't set my house on fire every night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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