the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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