It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
