dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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