i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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