took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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