what if every blade of grass was a penis?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
