I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
