Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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