ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
my poor anus
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
