I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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