You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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