But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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