I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
