You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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