problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we're so committed to being not committed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
