My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
