Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
