Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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